The Star Wars Retirement Plan
by Marian B
Summary: When Star Wars characters decide to retire, where do they go? A puny, out of the way planet! To be frank, Ours! And what do they do there? Well, they take jobs and live a peaceful civilian life...But...how would it be to have Boba Fett for a teacher?
1. It couldn't be that bad

Hello peoples.   
  
Discalimer: i don't own star wars.  
  
Yes.. I know that in this chapter I use the phrase "It couldn't be that bad." alot. Hints chapter title.   
  
yep.  
thanks.  
Enjoy.  
  
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Boba Fett sat in the cockpit of his now ancient, but still deadly and state of the art, ship. He sighed. This last bounty had been interesting and yet unsatisfying. Of course, the interesting came in as how he had almost gotten blow to bits, again. He was too old for this. Retirement slipped into his mind. No more bounties, no more almost getting killed, no more Solo.... Hey, it might not be so bad. On the other hand, dullness might drive him insane, or the realization that around every corner a thug wouldn't be pointing some deadly thing at him might jar the mind a bit.   
Fett almost smiled. But it couldn't be THAT bad. Maybe he'd just... go on an extended vacation, some where in the unexplored region of the galaxy. Next week was available, he had that Bounty Hunter Inc. meeting Wednesday ... Aw who cared, it was a stupid thing anyway... something about some aliens taking over the universe. He didn't care...as long as it didn't cut into his paycheck. Not that he wasn't set for a lifetime anyway. Quite a few lives really.  
He sent a message to a "friend" in a small solar system. Small? No it was puny! Only one star in the whole thing and the occupants thought they were the only life around. The "sane" ones on the blue planet anyway. As for that red one, the small rock people were famous through out the sector for their rust mines. And the smallest one was really an old 632 class A A-C unit for a space station that had gotten caught in the star's orbit. The others had their properties but the system was all in all quite sad.   
Fett inwardly shrugged as he looked over some more information. It would do for now. Harmless little beings wouldn't be that bad. Anyway, he had a debt to collect.....  
  
Marian fell on her over stuffed beanbag and stared up at the ceiling. She was starting high school in two weeks. The summer, along with her mere days of sanity, seemed to have blown to bits and scattered around in her now uneducated summer mind. She sighed and rolled over as she heard her brother's stereo blasting Star Wars music in the next room. He didn't seem too worried or depressed about it. This terrible event that was about to take place. At least her 'cult' of friends would be there to make it a bit less painfully boring.   
Her bedroom door suddenly creaked open to revel the culprit behind the loud music. "Hey Marian!" He said as he plopped on her bed. He was now fifteen and had brown hair and hazel eyes. "Still worried about school?" She shook her head, short blonde hair getting in her eyes. "No, dreading is a better word." "Why? It isn't that bad." She sighed. "Ok let me spell it out for you. They-will-make-me-move-!" "Oh, well, there's always weekends." She sighed again and buried her head in the bean bag. "You never know... something interesting could happen.." "What?" She said through the beanbag.   
"Well....I heard we get a new teacher." "Yippee." "Oh, come on..." "I will dread until the last single solitary moment." "Oh, well then... suit yourself." He stood and started towards the door. "Listen, I'm gonna play Rogue Squadron...I'll play you." Marian suddenly jumped up and runs out screaming, "I claim the purple controller..."   
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And the ploting continues...Mwhahahahaha....  
  
Please Reveiw!  
  
MB 


	2. Three Days

Hi! Again! thank u for all the review! *does a dance* *sniff* I'd Like to thank the acadamy...not! Who who want to thank a school? That's what tht is....right? Well anywho...I know it isn't that great yet....but in the next chapter it's closer... if not already...the school year...and then it get's good!  
  
Yep!  
Enjoy!  
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"WHAT!!??!!" Fett hollered. The small man nodded. "Yep, I think it'll be perfect for you."   
  
Fett: "I-I-"   
Small man: "A perfect retirement plan if I do say so myself."   
Fett: "But it's supposed to be RETIRERMENT!"   
Small man: "Of course, Mr. Jaster, of course. It's a retirement compared to your other life."   
Fett:"But that's not what-!"   
Small man: "I've even arranged a home for you."   
Fett: "I want to- You what?!"   
Small man: "Yes, a nice stone house on a hill. I think you'll really like it Mr. Jaster."   
Fett: "Mister-Mister...What's your name again."   
Tefo:"Tefo, sir, Bob Tefo."   
Fett: "Well, Mr. Tefo let me get this across to you.... I don't want to teach high school!"   
Tefo:"I'm sure, sir, but it's all we have available at the moment. I'll notify you when we have another opening."   
Fett:"No I-"   
Tefo: "Well, I must be off, goodbye Mr. Jaster."  
  
**   
And with that Fett was pushed into a yellow box with wheels. He slumped and sighed. What he wouldn't give for a blaster to blow that midget's head off. But 'imported' firearms weren't 'permitted' on this uncivilized planet. So he had only 'accidentally' smuggled some in with his luggage. At least his ship was being delivered to his new 'home'. He sighed again and remembered his new job. Someone would be in a lot of pain for this.   
**He stared out the window and glared at the uncivilized houses and people. He glared some more and then itched the back of his neck where the clothes, if you could even call them that, rubbed against his skin. How disappointing. This planet hadn't even invented tag less shirts yet...   
*************  
  
Marian picked up the phone, "Hello?" Then hung it up again, then picked it up, "Hello?" Then put it down. How many more times before the Phone Company wondered what was up? She picked up the phone again and held it to her ear. "Hello?" She said for the millionth time. "Hi!" The voice on the other side said. Marian screamed and hurled the phone across the room. "IT SPEAKS!!"   
After a while she crawled out from under her bed and picked up the phone again. "Are you ok?" the voice said. "Yeh, Cleo... you just scared me a bit."   
**  
Cleo: "So you're ok.... wait why do I ask?"   
Marian:"No idea."   
Cleo:"That makes two of us then."   
Marian: "Soooooo what's up?"   
Cleo: "Not much, how's your life?"   
Marian: "Dull, like always."   
Cleo: "Oh, ok..."   
  
**  
Marian: "Cleo why did you call me?"   
Silence sounded loudly (A/n: Oximoron! I think u speel it like that...) from the other side.   
Marian: "Cleo?"   
Cleo: "You know how we have a new teacher this year, right?"   
Marain: "Yeh, Jarik told me."   
Cleo: "Well I drove by- walked by his house today."   
Marian: "And?"   
Cleo: "Do you remember that stone mansion on the hill Marian?"   
Marain: "OooOOoo..."   
Cleo: "Yep."   
Marain: "Not a normal teacher huh?"   
Cleo: "He has enough money to not work for the rest of his life. Why would he be a high school teacher of all things?"   
**  
Marian mentally dug through all the mystery books she had ever read.   
Marain: "Well... he could be a spy or something..."   
Cleo: "What if he just enjoyed the job?"   
Marain: "What kind of idiot-"   
Cleo: "Just think for a minute, Marian, just think..."   
Silence.   
Cleo: "Do you still have the same answer?"   
Marian: "Yep! And my head is starting to hurt."   
Cleo sighed.   
Cleo: "All right then scratch that."   
Marian: "I still think he's a spy...Hey! I know! I'll talk to Riddle. I bet she can track him down.... she's good with computers you know."   
Cleo: "Yes, Marian, I know... She helped me out a bit last year, remember?"   
Marain: "Ok then, I'll talk to her...tell me tomorrow if you come up with anything else."   
Cleo: "Ok, see ya at...oh that cursed word!"   
Marain: "I think we should boycott it."   
Cleo:"Hey good idea! Well I'll see you ...in three days, and call you tomorrow."   
Marian: "Ok, Cleo, bye!"   
Cleo: "Bye, Marian!"   
**  
Marian listened to the annoying buzz on the other line until she was forced to hang up. Three days...Three days until her freedom was stolen away once again. Three days until the word ended again and weekends held the only sanity. Three days... She had a lot to do.  
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Three...Days....*rocks back and forth in fear* NOOOOOOOOO!!! *sniff* *sob!*   
  
Ok... sorry it's sooooo short.... I'm just being slooooow!  
  
Hey I got a lot of people saying they couldn't read the way I was writing....in advance (a little later but still) I'd like to say it's all my computer's fault!  
.... Anyway... I hope u can read it now....and if you have any suggestions...tell me!  
  
(** means new paragraph) (********** means new persons PO)  
  
Thanks for all the reveiws!  
MB 


	3. Dun, Dun, Dun! FETT CAVE!

Hi again!   
Sorry I didn't update sooner...but I was grounded...little ol' me...who could imangine that? *cough* any who...this is a purely Fett chapie! *a holo of Fett appears on your screen**You:clap, clap, clap* Yes, thankyou, thankyou!  
  
Disclaimer: I own not Fett or Batman...  
Would you like to know why Batman?  
No?  
Good!  
  
Please refrain from eating *crunch, crunch* or talking *blah, blah* or drinking *SLLLUUUURRPPP!!* or hitting *OoooOoo...* or punching *Ouch!* or blowing stuff up *BOOM!!!* or flaming *NOOOO!!* or plotting world domination *Hey! Not with out me!!* or tring to find where I live so you can kill me...*goes and hides*...At this time. Thank You and enjoy the show...  
  
*curtain rises*  
  
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The yellow box pulled up to a iron gate and Fett glared at it. This was it? How pathetic. But then again... you couldn't expect much more of these people. The man who had been driving opened his door and he stepped out. As soon as his foot touched the ground a mob of men and women dressed in black uniforms came and pushed him through the gate and down a brick walkway. As they told him how pleased they were to have him there and how great he was two thoughts flew threw Boba's jumbled mind. Who are these people and when can I blow them to dust particles. Suddenly a stone building that backed into a black mountain like thing appeared. He was supposed to live there?! "What is that... a guard house?" He muttered under his breath. One of the black clad men looked at his curiously. "No sir, it's the garage." So they did have ships here... or was that where they kept the boxes with wheels? He sighed.   
**  
As they went on the people pushing him along dropped away one by one. When they finally reached the black mountain thingy only a woman remained. "You just go in this door and turn right. Someone will meet you there." He blinked in surprise. "What you people aren't coming?" "No sir." The woman said nervously. "We aren't allowed in the main building... is that ok with you?" Boba sighed....with relief "No I'll be alright." "Good. You go inside and to the right sir." Fett to a step forward and looked around for a control panel. How did you open these things? "Here you are sir." She said as she turned a shiny round knob on the door. It swung open and he stepped inside. What a weird planet.  
*******  
(TIME SKIPEEEEE!!!)  
(next day)  
  
He sat staring screen that took up the whole wall. He had actually gotten the people to bring his stuff to the right place...amazingly! And Slave I was safely in this mountain somewhere. A cave really. Or a hollow mountain. The guy who lived here before had called it 'The Bat Cave' but so far he hadn't seen any bats. The Fett Cave...He liked the sound of that. Or maybe Fett's Mountain... but with the many problems there was one that really annoyed him. The guy who named the place 'The Bat Cave' had left a puny little annoying pipsqueak who seemed to come with the cave. What was his name again? Some kind of Earth bird... Anyway any where Fett when the bird-boy was never far behind. He had to get rid of him somehow...   
**  
Fett had gotten used to the technology differences already...mostly. It really wasn't THAT different. Alfred, the man from the retirement agency, had shown him around and had told him that he could get rid of the people who had 'welcomed' him in. Which he did immediately....but he didn't get to blow them to where ever they came from with his 'illegal' thermal detonator, Alfred just told them to go away. So it was just 'Jaster', Alfred, and the bird-boy who had been left behind by the person obsessed with bats.   
**  
Boba continued staring at the screen and read the SPAM which had so suddenly occupied his inbox. One-hundred and seventy had come from the Bounty Hunter Inc. people who seemed to be putting off the meeting until he showed up. He really didn't care if they sat there and rotted, but he had to do something about all this SPAM... He checked all the entries and then pushed the 'delete' button sending the threats, orders, and stupidity in to the void of the space-time continuum. Now... what to do?  
**  
The bird-boy suddenly popped up at his right shoulder. "What ya doin?" He asked in a squeaky little annoying voice. Fett sighed. How would he get rid of this kid? A plan formed in Boba's head and he turned the chair to face the bird-boy. A smile spread across Fett's face as he remembered the kid's name. "Robin... have you ever gone on a top secret, dangerous, deadly mission before?" Robin nodded so viscously that Boba was certain he hadn't. "Yeh...lots of times." Boba nodded as if he only expected so much. "Well than, I have a very important mission that only someone with your experience could handle..."  
  
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What happens to bird-boy?  
Why?  
When?   
How?  
Where?  
Why would you like to know?  
  
Find out...soon...I hope...?  
  
MB 


	4. Time Skips and Strait Jackets

Sorry it took me sooooo long to update I'm still kinda...grounded....sooooooo hope u people like this!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing...ask again and I'll blow your head off...hehehehehehe...  
  
Oh....They are now at school...It's about to get interesting...sooooo keep reading and reviewing!!!!!!   
  
Thanks!!  
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Two girls stood in front of the infamous Wood View High. One girl had dark gold hair, pale skin, and dark eyes wore a black trench coat. The other stood with her arms crossed (she could have been Egyptian) and had black hair, green eyes, and a tan skin tone.  
**  
Cleo turned to her friend with golden hair. "Where do you think Marian is?" "She's probably at home asleep and not falling victim to this thing called 'school'." Sandri replied. Cleo rolled her eyes. "Why do you have to be so negative?" Sandri looked up from the spot in the ground she had been staring at and blinked. "Me? Negative? Cleo! How could you say such a thing! I only see the world as it wonderfully gloomy self at points in time I'm being force to enlist in a horror movie!"  
**  
Cleo was about to reply when an armored police van started down the street. Shouts and moans seemed to be coming from the back of it. "I wonder what that poor soul did." Cleo said to no one in particular. Sandri snorted. "At least they don't have to go to school." The van continued in their direction and instead of passing by it stopped right in front of the school. The two girls looked at each other and backed quickly away from the men in white coat and policemen coming from the van.   
**  
"They've found me!" Sandri whispered while hiding behind the telephone pole. Cleo gave he a weird look but tried harder to make herself invisible behind Sandri. "Fine by my book as long as they don't drag me along for the ride." She whispered back.   
**  
The back doors suddenly opened and a tall brown hair young man jumped out. "Jarik?!?" They asked in shocked unison. Jarik caught sight of them hiding behind the telephone pole and waved. He then went back into the van and pulled out the source of the screaming in a straitjacket. "No, no, no, no..." Marian sobbed.   
********  
(A/N: Don't you hate me?)  
*TIME BACK SKIPPPIIIEEE!!!!*  
*Day Before*  
Fett sighed happily (if you could call it that) as he looked over the newly painted Fett Cave. Green... What a wonderful color. Alfred suddenly appeared. "Your Corellian Ale, sir," he said as he presented a mug on a silver platter. "Thank you, Alfred," Fett responded. As he took a swig he wondered how that bird-boy was doing. How long would it take for Bounty Hunters Inc. to blow him to pieces? His 'stand in' or not, Fett didn't give him three seconds...  
**  
He set the empty mug back on the tray and motioned Alfred away for more. He would need it, his 'job' started tomorrow. He mentally referred to it as his death sentence. What were those classes again? Quantum Physics, Debate, and...What else? Oh well, all that mattered was that he got three of seven class periods free. He walked over to the computer and pulled up the list of students and their histories. The classes were of mixed grades and of mostly the same group of students. He suddenly hoped, as he looked over the histories again, they never found out where he lived...  
***********  
*TIMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE SKIP!*  
*Now again, before the first time Skippy thingy*  
  
"No, no, no, no..." Marian continued. Jarik then dragged her to the curb and waved to the police and people in white coats. "Bye! Thanks for going through all this again." One of the men waved down his thanks. "No problem, we're still trying to pay you back for that mad pumpkin carver thing...call any time you need us." The men jumped back in the van, leaving Jarik holding onto Marian and Cleo and Sandri standing with mouths gaping open.   
**  
Jarik preceded to pull the sobbing girl to the building and Sandri and Cleo immediately ran after him. "What was that?" Cleo asked, still in shock. Jarik cracked a grin, "They owe me a favor." After a few difficult moments they finally got Marian in the school. After the double doors closed Jarik let her out of the jacket and she threw herself at the glass. "MUST-ESCAPE-WHITE-PADDED-WALLS!!!!!" She shrieked. Jarik sighed, "That was yesterday, Marian, this is school." "Oh..." Marian suddenly stood up and looked around at the inside of the building. "So this is what it's like...interesting..." She drew a deep breath, "MUST-ESCAPE-EVIL-TEACHING-BUILDING!!!" She then proceeded to ramp herself against the double glass doors.   
**  
At this time the two girls who-have-happened-to-have-gotten-dragged-into-this-plot stood and watched their disturbed friend go mental and the friend's brother stand and do nothing about it. Cleo stood there gaping while Sandri looked for a way to escape. Jarik stared calmly at his sister yawning now and then. Not long after the late bell rang, Marian dropped exhausted to the floor. Jarik walked over to her, "Ready?" "Yeh," she panted, "I just had to get that out of my system." "So you knew that the door opened inward and you were pushing instead of pulling right?" He said with a slight smirk on his face. She blinked, "Really? I thought it just hated me."   
**  
Sandri sighed and stepped forward, "You sad-excuse-for-human-beings know we're late right?" Jarik jumped, "AHHH! NOOO!! I have Trig first! Mrs. Hill will kill me!!!" And with that he ran (sprinted) down the hall. Marian stood, "What's wrong with him?" This time Cleo sighed, "All right, what do you have first?" Marian thought for a second, "Chem. Lab." Sandri nodded, "Same here." "Well I have Adv. Geometry." Cleo explained earning glares for getting in advanced. "But Quantum Physics is 2nd and P.E is 3rd."   
**  
After finishing comparing they found they had three out of seven classes together. "Hey!" Marian exclaimed, "Those classes are mixed grades and I think Jarik has most of them with us!" Sandri sighed, "They just ask for death don't they?" "Same teacher too..." Cleo interjected. Marian whistled, "What are the chances of that?" "And it's the new guy," Cleo continued, "this Jaster fellow." "Well," Sandri remarked as she started to her first class, "He has my pity." "And mine," Marian said following her. "I wonder..." Cleo whispered to herself as she started to class. "...Who this guy really is... and why we're in all his classes..." She spent the rest of the period pondering and was beginning to think Marian was right about spies enrolling as teachers...  
  
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Spies....AHH!! NOOO they've found me!!!!!   
  
*runs and hides*  
  
*Little screen thingy pops up*  
... Tune next chapter to the same Fett time, same Fett channel, same Fett FanFic! (Thanks CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur!!!)   
  
Mb  
  
---who has exams in a week... 


	5. Banks and Yellow Pengiuns

Hi! new chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I own not Fett. Or school!  
  
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Jarik sprinted down the hall way to Trig Class wondering how dead he would be when he got there. 'Wait...If I'm dead...I'm dead ... I couldn't be just half-dead or a quarter of the way dead...' He shook his head back and forth franticly. 'NOOOO!! MUST NOT THINK MATH!!' Jarik whipped around the next corner barely missing a tall, broad, dark haired man in a suit. "Excuse me." Jarik muttered as he ran by. A few seconds later as he turned in to the Trig classroom he could have sworn he heard the talk man mumble, "If I only had a blaster..."  
  
***********  
  
Sandri and Marian slid into Chem. Lab when the teacher had her back away from the door. They tiptoed to the back of the room and found seats of the last row. "Wow...that was-" "Do I hear talking?" The teacher said turning around. When no one answered she continued, "I will not tolerate disrespect in my class room-" Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the Chem. teacher when into a discussion with some unknown person in the hallway...  
  
**  
  
Sandri got out a piece of paper, scribbled something on it and passed it to Marian. 'That was close.' 'Yeah...' Marian wrote back. Suddenly there was a scream in the hallway. Quite filled the class room and a short balding man stuck his head in. "Mrs. Cradler is not feeling well at the moment-" Sandri passed the note back, 'Yeah, right.' "-so please remain seated and stay quiet the rest of the period. You'll have a replacement tomorrow."  
  
**  
  
As soon as the door closed a random kid shouted, "COOL!" And with that the room erupted into pandemonium. Paper airplanes and spitballs flew around the room and Marian and Sandri dived under the desks. "Let's try to make it to the teacher's desk!" Marian shouted. Sandri nodded and they crawled forward with books over their heads.   
  
**  
  
At last they made it to the haven of the Chem. Lab teacher's big wood desk. They dashed under while barely avoiding a well aimed spitball. Sandri dropped the book and began gasping for breath, "That was close." She blinked, "WOAH! De'sha'vu!" (A/N: How do you spell that?) Marian gave her a weird glance and began to slide out from under the desk. "What are you doing!!" Marian turned her head slightly, "Trying to figure out what happen to our Chem. Lab teacher." Sandri gasped, "You-you aren't going out... there.... are you?" Marian sniffed, "Of course not! I'm just rummaging through her desk, that's all."  
  
**  
  
By the end of the period they had found Three-hundred and fifty-two letters with something to do with the Imperial Galactic Bank. Sandri picked up a bill notice and read it out loud, "This is your last warning. You must pay thirty percent or the 7,934,567,554 credits to your name or be exterminated. Thank you."   
  
**  
  
"What did she spend so much on?" Marian mused. Sandri held up a receipt, "45,678,589 yellow penguins." Marian stared at her. "Really! It says right here!" Marian shook her head, afraid of what they might be used for, and sighed, "So at least now we know why they took her away... but why-" "Why they didn't take away the penguins first?" Sandri interrupted. "Yeah." Sandri shrugged, "I guess they weren't too crazy about yellow penguins." Marian rolled her eyes, "I beat they couldn't resell them for a profit." "Oh, well, I'm sure the new teacher will be ten times worse than this one," Sandri declared, changing the subject. "Really? Why?" At that point the bell rang and Sandri's reply was lost in the roar of student rushing out the door, trying to dodge the spitballs coming after them.   
  
***************  
  
Cleo sighed as she dragged her feet out of the Adv. Geometry room. Five hundred problems on the first day. She sighed again and began to make her way to the Quantum Physics room. Suddenly a copper haired girl with blue eyes popped out of a near by locker. She grabbed a bulky bag and walked up to Cleo towering a whole head above her. Cleo stared at her matted hair and grimy clothes, "Uh, Caylor?" Caylor smiled, "Yep!" "What happened to you?" Caylor put on an innocent face, "The janitor seemed to have lost some... tools this morning. I, the innocent by stander, was forced to hide in this locker in fear of being mistaken as the criminal." She tucked her short hair under an oily ball cap. "So how did you get so... messed up?" Caylor blinked, "Oh, you know, they really should clean those lockers."  
  
**  
  
Cleo sighed again and was met at the front door by Jarik, Marian, and Sandri. Marian bounced up to her and Caylor, "Hi, Caylor! We no longer have a Chem. teacher! The bank took her away for buying yellow penguins!" Caylor blinked, "Oh, ok. Um, so you people are in this class too, right?" They all nodded. "Then we better get good seats together." The girls scrambled to the back of the room and Jarik chose a seat off to the side with some of his friend.  
  
**  
  
The bell rang and no teacher appeared. Caylor took out her new tools and began to put jets on her skateboard. Suddenly a voice sounded from the back of the classroom, "You've got it all wrong. If you do it that way you'll blow you're head off."  
  
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Yep! weirdness around every turn.  
  
Caylor: How did you fit in a locker?  
  
Please review!   
  
MB 


	6. Singing of Weird Al

Hey! Riddle you're in this!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own not "Star Wars" and Weird Al.... hehehehehe....  
  
Sorry it took me so long to update.... enjoy the riddles!!  
  
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The class spun around to see a tall dark haired man adjusting Caylor's skateboard. The tall man shook his head. "If you do it this way the projection will back fire into the engine--" "Exploding into itself and causing a fracture in the main body of the system," Caylor said thoughtfully. Mr. Jaster nodded. "And then you'd have a problem." He walked to the front of the class room. "Welcome to your Quantum Physics class for this semester. Each student must have all materials for the class period and will not be allowed to leave the classroom at any time."   
  
**  
  
A girl with shoulder length blonde hair in ponytails piped up. "Mr. Jaster, sir, I don't have a pencil." "Well than You will have to-" "CHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" The girl randomly laughed. Boba looked around the room wide eyed for the source of the screech and some new students fell out of their chairs in surprise. Others just covered their ears and ducked under the desks. At last the echo subsided. Jaster coughed, "Well than you'll just have to walk up and down the hallways until you find one." (A/N: Sorry if this is confusing... please accept it for random weirdness and read on.)  
  
**  
  
After the girl left Boba/ Jaster sighed and turned to the rest of the class who had scrambled back into their seats. "Now as I call your name please... respond... in a way... that fits your personality." Best to treat this as he would a rabid Rancor... find out as much as you could before you blasted the head off. But not literally in this case.   
  
**  
  
"Let's start with... Riddle Deane." A girl with one purple and one white contact and black hair that came about to the small of her back stood up. "There is something that is nothing, but it has a name. It joins our walks; it joins our talks; it plays in every game. What is it?" Boba thought for a minute. "A shadow," he said at last. Riddle nodded and took her seat.   
  
**  
  
Jaster/ Boba continued down the list. "....." "Here!" "...." "Yo!" (People that don't matter and their responses.) "Marian." "Attack of the Radio Active Hamsters-" Oh no. Jaster thought.   
  
"Caylor." The girl with the skate board stood up. "- from a planet near Mars-" He hurried on.   
  
"Cleo." "-they're back and they are looking for a snack and they that fond of Burger Kings or salad bars-" The next girl responded. Why oh why did they have to sing THIS song?   
  
"Sandri?" " I hope they're not planning to stay. Who invited them here anyway?" So they're together in this. Jaster mused. A little cult... Interesting... Jaster locked away this information as all four sang on. "Attack of the Radio Active Hamsters from a Planet near MARSSSS!!"   
  
**  
  
Some students applauded as they bowed and took their seats. "Jarik." The tall brown haired sophomore stood. "A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, Naboo was under an attack..." As he sang the four girls stood again and joined in. "...and I thought me and Qui-gon Jin could talk the Federation in to maybe cutting them a little slack..." By this time the whole class room joined in and those who didn't know the words looked stupid and tried to hum them. "... but their response it didn't thrill us. They locked the doors and tried to kill us. We escaped from that gas, and met Jar-jar and Boss Nass. We took a Bongo from the scene and we went to Theed to see the Queen. We all wound up on Tatooine, that's where we found.... this boy..."  
  
**  
  
Jaster took a seat and listened to their little melody... interesting, very interesting. Kind of calming to the soul... He wondered where he could get it on CD...  
  
**  
  
At last the song was finished and the class burst into a fit of laughter and talking. Jaster stood, quieted the room, and then almost thoughtfully finished the role. At last the class ended and the student filed out. Boba went to make a phone call. Tefo had some explaining to do.   
  
**********  
  
Riddle picked up her books and walked over to where the four Radioactive girls were standing. "Hey, Marian!" "Hey! Did you get it?" Riddle shook her head. "He's clean... But it's almost like he appeared out of the blue. I mean sure he has a birth certificate and a teaching degree but that's all I could find on him." "Kinda like that's all he has done his entire life. Been born and taught." Marian mused. "Who?" Caylor asked, confused. Cleo smiled. "Our normal run of the mill Quantum Physics teacher, that's who. I don't believe that's right." Sandri nodded. "He's hiding something."   
  
**  
  
Marian sighed. "We'll find out more later, thanks Riddle. And hey did you get a riddle for me?" Riddle smiled. "An easy one: There was this black dog in the middle of a black road all the houses are black and the moon and stars weren't out. The power was out in this town and a guy whose headlights were out was driving down the road and almost hit the dog but he swerved just in time. How did the man see the dog?" "I'll think about it," the confused Marian said.   
  
**  
  
As they at went off to the next period Cleo whispered to Caylor. "I knew he was a spy!"  
  
**********  
  
At last Tefo picked up the phone.  
  
Tefo: Hello?  
  
Boba: The children know.  
  
Tefo: What!!?! That isn't-  
  
Boba: They sang some kind of song...  
  
Tefo: Mr. Jaster, on this planet they have a ... sort of... dream world. They call it "Star Wars".  
  
Boba: *snickers* What kind of a name is that?  
  
Tefo: Remember who we're dealing with Mr. Jaster. Anyway they have books and movies, early holo films, that contribute to the dream world.   
  
Boba: Soooo..... they think it's fake?  
  
Tefo: Yes, Mr. Jaster.  
  
Boba: Who wrote the song then?  
  
Tefo: What song, Mr. Jaster?  
  
Boba: ...My...guy, maybe Vader.... sometime later... French fry... jedi... something like that.  
  
Tefo: Oh, that song.  
  
Boba: Yes, THAT song, Tefo. Who wrote it?  
  
Tefo: A former client of mine.  
  
Boba: So he's from this "Star Wars" place too, huh?  
  
Tefo: Yes, sir.  
  
Boba: What's his name?  
  
Tefo: They call him Weird Al.  
  
Boba: Never heard of him.  
  
Tefo: No, the people here call him that.  
  
Boba: So what's his really name?  
  
Tefo: .............. (Picture Zooms out so we can't hear. Hehehehe!! Don't you hate me?")  
  
Boba: WWWWHHHHHHAATTTTTT!!!!!!??!!!!!  
  
*noise echoes through school*  
  
**********  
  
Marian at last finds Riddle. "I know! I know!" Riddle sighs. "What's the answer Marian?" "It's daytime!!" "Good! Here's another: What room has no walls, no ceiling and no floor?" Marian brightens. "A-" The scream catches up with them with such speed and force that it makes the fanfiction author end the chapter.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
You'll have to wait until next time for the answer.... but think about it and give me your guess in a reveiw!!  
  
Oh, yes my Bro.... Jarik Fel has put up a new, funny, story.... that I typed... please read it!  
  
Thanks!  
  
Make it a good day!  
  
MB 


	7. To Seek Out, Blow ups, And Red Convertib...

The answer for the last riddle was a mushroom!! Hope you got it.... though I doubt you did..  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own: Star Wars, Weird Al, Red convertibles, Robin, George, ect.  
  
You find out what happens to bird boy..... hehehehe  
  
Beware of booms and voices....  
  
enjoy!  
  
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The school day was over and Boba jumped in the first car he found which happened to be the ex-Chem.. Lab teacher's red convertible. Since he had watched the man pilot his yellow box, Fett knew all about driving. He turned the shiny thingy, and pulled the handle thingy, and pushed the black thing all the way to the floor.   
  
**  
  
After evading three noisy boxes with flashy lights, Boba saw a sign that read 'Welcome to California'. At last he stopped and jumped out, forgetting to pull the stick thingy or turn the shiny thingy. Minutes later as he neared the front door of a mansion he heard a boom...  
  
*******  
  
George, the-Lord-of-Flannel-Shirts, sat in his director chair in his second favorite red flannel shirt on a sunny day in California. He coughed and the set grew quiet. "Okay, let's run the scene again." The cameras and actors stood ready. "Lights....," they flickered on, "Cameras..." they put their fingers on the so-very-important 'Record' button," Action!" The cameras rolled away. (hehehehe) After a minute of the actors flannel man spoke again, "Cue the stunt car!!"   
  
*****  
  
Boba's neglected red convertible rolled with incredible speed (he parked on a hill) towards the set.   
  
*****  
  
George caught sight of the car and Fett, stomping to the next house over, as he waited for the delayed stunt car. His thoughts were, 'I don't believe it!' and 'I wonder when my head will be blown off.." but in what order they were thought... we can not be certain.   
  
**  
  
The car sped on to the set erupting into a giant fireball of flame and debris.   
  
******  
  
Boba neared the door and he heard a crash. He turned and saw a giant fireball erupt from the house next   
  
door. "Stupid earthlings..." He muttered as he rang the doorbell.  
  
****  
  
Al sat at his window watching the explosion. He muttered, "And we crashed in to a hillside and erupted in to a giant fire ball and everybody died!... except for me..."   
  
****  
  
Moments later George stood from his charred chair. "And cut! That's a wrap!" "But sir," one blackened actor protested, "it wasn't in the script." "Who cares! It was great! We'll fit it in there somewhere.... Now you," he pointed to a random smoking stagehand, "make sure this is cleaned up. I want it looking as if nothing happened so the stage owners can't sue us." And George walked/ ran to the next house over where he met Fett waiting impatiently for Al to answer the doorbell...  
  
**********  
  
(A/n: And we change scenes so you don't know what happened!)  
  
(At last you find what happens to bird boy...)  
  
Robin stood at the front door to the hidden entrance of Bounty Hunters Inc.. "Name?" The door said. Robin looked oddly at the door. Hmmm.... talking doors... he'd better respond incase it ate him... "I'm here for Boba Fe-" "Password?" The door interrupted. Robin blinked. What a rude door! "Cabbage heads eat blaster bolts." The door nodded, if doors can nod, and swung open. Robin looked inside to see a circle of rather dusty looking creatures in black chair. One coughed, "Finally, Boba, you-" "I am not Boba!", Robin declared, "I am the boyyyyy-wonder!!!"   
  
**  
  
Robin got seventy-three blasters pointed at him. "Um, I'm here on the behalf of Mr. Boba Feet!" The blasters were aimed. "I-I have an official looking document with a shiny stamp on everything!" He took it out. Unknown to him it read, 'Blast this bird brain!', but he didn't know that. One scale covered yellowish alien with a nametag that read, 'Hi! I'm Bossk' remarked, "OoooOOOooo.... shiny!! I really want to put that in my trophy case!" The others crowded around to see the seal but unfortunately paid attention only to the shininess and not the words on the document. (Drat!!)  
  
**  
  
Soon all the bounty hunters rallied around the holder of the shiny document. All powers were given to.... 'The Unnamed One.' As the Robin reborn stood with the shiny seal lifted high he plotted. It was only beginning!  
  
********  
  
"This is only beginning!" Sandri declared. "We will not fall to the powers that threaten to over run us!" "Oh, be quiet!" Cleo exclaimed handing her a toilet paper roll. "Just stick to the plan!" Sandri, Jarik, and Marian would infiltrate/ break in. Cleo and Riddle would disarm. And most importantly of all... Caylor would create a distraction....  
  
**  
  
At last all were in position and the grounds were clear. Marian gave the signal, "Operation Re-decorate/ probe Quantum Physics teacher's house.... underway." And she threw the toilet paper roll....  
  
******  
  
As the infiltrate team crawled forward a voice sounded from Sandri's right elbow. "Hi! The little people are here and waiting for orders!" The voices were taking revenge! "Who is it?" Marian whispered. "Ah, sis, I'm offended-" "No time Cor! What are you doing here!?" "Mom said I could come as long as she didn't hear of vandalism." Marian and Jarik both sighed. "Okay... You can go with Caylor on the distraction team. Oh, and tell her if she sees anyone.... to avoid at all cost. Got it?" Cor nodded in the dark and ran off. "We're Doomed," Sandri commented and started chanting. "Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you-" "Sandri!!" And there was quiet.... for a moment at least.  
  
*******  
  
Caylor jumped as Cor appeared from nowhere. "What do you want?" "We're helping!" Cor said with a smile. "Fine." Caylor responded, believing he was referring to the voices in his head. "Marian said, 'if you see anyone.... to invade them at all cost." Caylor nodded and thought for a minute. "Prepare the skateboards... we're going in."  
  
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I will be gone for.... three days so you'll have 2 wait....  
  
Make it a good day!  
  
MB 


	8. Questions and The Little People

MWhadahada..*cough*... *gasp*... *choke*... *dies*....(Jabba's last evil laugh)  
  
hehehehehehe.... A-um- interesting chapter...  
  
Disclaimer: *sigh* I don't own starwars, little brothers, Weird Al, or Walky-Talkys.  
  
Please laugh and Review!  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Cleo and Riddle crouched at the front door of what they believed to be the house. Riddle studied the door. "Okay, first we can analyze the area then we can-" Cleo pushed the door open. "-oh" Cleo cautiously stuck her head in. "It's a garage!" "What? Then where's the- Oh, oops." Cleo rummaged around the garage while Riddle picked up her walky-talky. "Riddler to Silver Wolf. Come in Silver Wolf." Jarik's voice can through clearly. "I'm here, Riddler. What's the situation?" "We have access to the garage, Silver Wolf, and are heading to the ominous-black-mountain that we now believe to be a house." "Good job Riddler we await the signal." "Copy that Silver Wolf, Riddler out."  
  
**  
  
Riddle was about to stick the walky-talky back on her belt when Cleo ran up with a box labeled 'Do Not Open.' "What are-" Riddle glanced in the box and then leaned forward, "OooOOOoo!" Riddle brought out the black box again. "Silver Wolf?" "Yes?" "Egyptian-girl has found something quite- ah- interesting." "What is it Riddler? "Toilet paper." "We have a job to do here-" "No, no very special toilet paper." "What could be-" Cleo grabbed the black box from Riddle and whispered something to the listeners on the other side.  
  
**  
  
Silence rang loudly from the other side when she was finished. Cleo threw a worried glance at Riddle. "Silver Wolf?" No answer. "Dooms Day 13?" No answer. Cleo grew frantic. "Queen of Mashed Potatoes?!?" Marian's voice sounded after a moment. "Ah, I'm afraid the others can't come to the... er... walky-talky right now." Riddle grabbed the black box back. "And why not?" "They're laughing too hard." "I don't hear anything." "Silently laughing... It's quite funny really..." Riddle sighed. "We'll add this to the other ammo and ... decorate when you're inside." "Roger that, Queen of Mashed Potatoes , over and out."   
  
*********  
  
Caylor's mouth was a gape as Cor and seven of his friends appeared with her skateboards. ALL of her skateboards. "What are you doing?!" Cor looked at her with big blue nine-year-old eyes. "You said to get the skate boards." He replied simply. "But where did," she pointed to the others, "they come from?" They all pouted and gave her BIG eyes. "Can-" "No." Caylor had a brother of her own and the eyes had no affect on her. "Why-" ""No!" Cor's eyes narrowed to slits. "What if-" "NO! And put my skate boards back!" Cor studied her for a moment and then nodded to a boy near the back of the line wearing a brown trench coat. "Sam." Sam nodded and he nodded back. "Bring it out."   
  
**  
  
Sam opened his trench coat to revile a variety of ideas. Cor plucked a thick book out and thumbed through the pages. "See this?" He asked with a wicked grin. "This is an instruction booklet to the-" "Unless it's a skateboard I'm not interested." She interrupted.  
  
**  
  
He smiled at her again. "Ever heard of a- well I don't know- speeder bike?" "And it's water proof and can fold up to the size of a Swiss army knife." Sam added. "And it has forty gears and goes up to a hundred-twenty , is fire proof, has a life time guarantee, excellent gas mileage-"  
  
**  
  
Caylor snatched the book and flipped through it. "You got a deal. Where is the merchandise?" "After we-" "Nope paid up front and full." Cor scowled, took a small brown box from Sam, and handed it to her. Caylor read the label (it said 'Speeder Bike' ), checked the copy right and squinted. "Where's Nar Shaddaa?" "Does it matter?" Cor was growing annoyed. "I guess not." She tucked it away. "But if you break one of my Skateboards... do not sleep tonight."  
  
**********  
  
Boba turned to the rounded man running up to him. "Hey, Boba! How-" Boba grabbed the man by the front of the shirt. "How do you know-" Boba blinked and then stared at the bearded man. "Dengar?" The man smiled. "Long time no see, buddy." Boba dropped him and took a step back. "Why are you- When did you- What is-"   
  
**  
  
The front door swung open to reveal a man wearing an Albuquerque T-Shirt. "Ah, Mr. Fett what a pleasant surprise." Boba gasped, head spinning. "You're dead!" "Only in your world, my friend." "How did you-" Dengar/ George shook his head. "Now don't start that again." Boba's eyes narrowed at him. "You knew?" "Yep." "Why didn't you-" Al sighed. "Maybe some Corellian Whiskey would clear his mind." "Sure," Dengar grumbled dragging Boba into the house, "If you have about a thirty gallons of that stuff."   
  
*******  
  
Tefo sat at his desk at a unknown location and scanned the list set before him. Ever since a new diabolical war lord had popped up- The Unknown One, or something like that- business had been booming. The problem was there wasn't enough spots open. He'd just have to make some. He drew up a list of the staff of the school he had sent "Mr. Jaster" to. Tefo supposed they could all be... persuaded. Besides that Chem. Lab teacher... well he couldn't do anything about that. Unless he wanted to start a war. He glanced at both lists and then dialed the jobs that went unnoticed.  
  
**  
  
Soon he had sent the Cook to Tahiti, the bus driver to the Bahamas, and the janitor to Alaska. Places far, far away from a little school they had previously worked at. The conditions? No questions and they would stay for life. The benefits? A million bucks and a one way plane ticket. How could the earthlings refuse such an offer? But then again, they didn't know he was getting three-hundred times more profit than he was giving to them for filling their places. But who needed to know that?  
  
**  
  
Tefo smiled as he sent the lucky people an prerecorded message. He had memorized it by now. "Your place has been secured... Please come as soon as possible..."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Sorry about leaving you hanging like this...  
  
But I'm going to be gone...   
  
Ohhhhh...   
  
eight days...  
  
and though I will try my hardest to update before then...   
  
I'm not sure I will have a chance to...   
  
so live in suspence of if you will live in suspence or not...   
  
Yeppers.   
  
C ya!  
  
MB,  
  
who is soon to be sun burn so bad she looks like a... red.... thing... 


	9. Setting Out and Answers

Meesa back!! Miss me? Yes I am now a red thing that my brothers take plesure in rolling around the house.  
  
disclaimer: I own no thing.  
  
Made it extra long because I was gone sooooo long...  
  
Beware I have body guards...  
  
************************************************************************************************  
  
Caylor and five boys stood outside the front gate of the Fett estate as Cor ran up to her out of breath. "The sentry noticed a blue streak coming this way!" Caylor blinked. "What is that supposed to mean?" Cor took another deep breath. "The streak appears to be someone running really, really fast." "Oh, in that case prepare to follow orders and draw back the sentries." "You mean the 'if you see anyone.... invade them at all cost' orders?" Caylor nodded. "One and the same." She turned to the other boys. "You know what to do."   
  
Caylor noticed the blue flash coming down the sidewalk, and suddenly a man appeared in front of them. "Is this the... er... Wayne estate?" Caylor, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, looked the man in the eye suspiciously. "No, this is Mr. Jaster's home, and he is not in right now." A black car pulled up and the back window rolled down. "Did you find him?" A deep voice said from the back seat.   
  
The tall man shook his head. "I guess we have the wrong place." "It was the only coordinates we could find." A female in the car informed him, with an exasperated tone. "Well it's not MY fault those files were deleted." The man said, in an exaggerated tone. "You were the one who labeled them 'My Cheesy pictures'. " The deep voice muttered. "Stop bickering and get in the car!" The female commanded.  
  
The door swung open and the man got in. The car soon was out of sight and Caylor turned to the boy with the ball cap beside her. "Did you get it?" He nodded. "Caught the number, drew a sketch, tagged it, whole bit." Caylor rolled her eyes. "That's all well and good but how are we going to-" She blinked. "Wait, tagged?" The boy handed her something that looked like a cell phone with a little red dot blinking on it. "Did you get the tall guy or the car?" "Tall guy." She patted him on the head. "Good boy."   
  
He glared at her, but Caylor was already on the skateboard. "Okay every one get on your- my- skateboard." They did so. "Now the green one is go, the red one is stop, the orange one is self destruct, the blue one use only in emergencies, the small purple one is for small malfunctions- anything bigger than small you'd better use the orange and pay me later-, the big purple one is for charging power cells, the light red one and light blue one are for vertical navigation, the yellow and pink are for horizontal navigation, white primary fuel thrusters, light green is... never mind you won't be needing those, clear is special features, oh and black is hover. Any questions?"   
  
One boy raised his hand. "What's vertical mean?" Caylor sighed. "Okaaaay, Green is Go, Red is Stop, Black is Hover. Got it?" They nodded. "Good. Now, does anyone have Kakorrhaphiophobia (fear of failure)?" They stared at her. " How about Acrophobia (Fear of heights)?" They looked at each other confused. " Dementophobia (Fear of insanity), Catapedaphobia (Fear of jumping from high places), Zemmiphobia (Fear of the great mole rat)? No? Okay then let's get out of here."   
  
"Wait!" One of the boys raised his hand. "I think I have that last one!" "Me too!" Another one piped up. Caylor shook her head. "We better keep an eye on you two then, we wouldn't want any kind of trouble."   
  
*****  
  
Boba downed another cup of the warmed slimy substance. 'Al' had said it cleared the mind but, at the moment, he felt as groggy as ever. But at least a little calmer. Dengar squinted at him. "How many has he had?" "Six, I believe, but another wouldn't hurt." Al poured another glass and handed it to Boba who drank it and gave it back. "Now would you explain to me what's going on?" Boba said. Or at least that's what he tried to say. He said, "Nooo-eee exp-plengi yergoooo?" Al nodded. "Good it's working already."   
  
Boba's mind suddenly cleared but his mouth didn't seem to want to function. "Uk ith oing glon?" He said. "I told you it would clear your mind. I never said anything about your mouth, now we can precede without any rude interruptions." Boba wanted a blaster sooooo bad. Well he had really wanted one the moment the door had opened but it wouldn't be good for his reputation as a teacher to blast someone.   
  
"Now," Al said taking a seat, "when I 'disappeared ' from your world I came here through my retirement agency and got a job as a singer. I was able to use anti-aging cream and hair dye to make myself look like a slightly younger version of myself and as for the voice-" Ben smiled. "It was one of my... hidden talents."  
  
"The ideas for my weird and wacky songs came from out of the nowhere but I had to eventually write a song with some galactic history- From my point of view of course- with the help of George...er... Dengar." Obi sat back in his chair with a amused look on his face. "It was and is a perfect cover. Any questions?"  
  
"Yeojop I sde careeeee." Boba mumbled. "Good. Now is there anything else you want to know Mr. Fett?" Boba glared ion cannons at him. "No? I suppose you should be heading out then. It was nice to see you again, Boba."   
  
He was lead outside and after a moment the door closed and bolt locked behind Fett and Dengar. Boba stomped to the place he had parked the car but found it gone. As he wondered where it had gone Dengar sighed and said. "I suppose I'll drive you home." "Uggg hajio ut ik caaaaa?" "It malfunctioned, Boba." Dengar replied after somehow being able to translate it to be 'What happened to my car?'.   
  
They walked down to the set- which had no evidence anything had happened to it other than the big pile of rubble in the middle of the floor- where George picked up the real stunt car. Boba mumbled some more and Dengar told him that he had no idea why it looked like his old red convertible. The hopped in and Dengar warned Boba to never hit the blue button that said 'Press me'. They drove to a bar run by Jawas and got Boba eight glasses of antidote (one more, just to be safe). Then they started the car ride back to the Fett estate.  
  
******  
  
Silver Wolf, Dooms Day 13, and Queen of Mashed Potatoes lay outside the black mountain house. At last they heard the double click on the radio. They ran for the front door where the met Riddler and Egyptian-girl. Silver Wolf slipped through the open door followed by Dooms Day 13 and than Queen of Mashed Potatoes after she handed Riddler a big box of... ammo. "Thanks, You know what to do." She shook both of their hands and closed the door behind her.  
  
****  
  
Cleo peeked over Riddle's shoulder into the box. "Mwhahaha-yelp!" She said as Riddle kicked her. "What screeches, flashes, and has bars?" Riddle hissed. "I Dunno, What?" "The car that will take us away if you don't be quiet! Trespassing on private property is illegal!!" "Oooo.." Cleo whispered. "Now help me with this." And with that they set to work.   
  
****  
  
Jarik flipped on the hall light. "Okay, which way?" Sandri pulled out the map that Jarik had found in a down town computer. The files had been labeled 'Cheesy Pictures' and as soon as he printed out the map the files had disappeared. "Left." She whispered. When they reached a branched hallway she whispered. "Okay, we split up here. Jarik, take the main room, I'll take the dormitories, Marian take this room that isn't labeled." She pointed to a very large room on the west room. "We have twenty minutes, feel free to leave your mark..."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
*rubs head* sun burrrrrrn! *moan* Must-go-play-soooooccccer!  
  
*runs/limbs out door*  
  
My fingers hurt....  
  
*scream* AHHHHHHH!! THE STING RAY!!!  
  
*runs and hides*  
  
I'm off!!   
  
*runs some more*  
  
I hurt from running...  
  
*stops running*  
  
I'm going to end the chapter before I scare anyone... more than I already have..  
  
*ends*  
  
Mb 


	10. Treasures and Toilet Paper

Lights!! *lights flicker on*   
  
Thank you!   
  
*a voice comes from off stage*   
  
You're Welcome!  
  
*cough*  
  
Yep! New chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: ...  
  
Okay, this is all about the two teams at Fett's house, k.  
  
Extra, Extra, long!   
  
Read....  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Jarik ran down the hallway humming under his breath and with a backpack slung over his shoulder. He took another sharp right and finally reached the main chamber. He studied the room with mild interest, dropped his bag on the floor, and trotted over to the big computer screen.   
  
"Interesting," he mumbled as he went through the files, "very interesting." He printed out a single piece of paper then ran a scan through the computer that wiped out any evidence of him being there. Not that it would matter. What he was going to do next would fingerprints all over this if... Jarik smiled. He loved his job.  
  
Jarik whistled James Bond as he took a gooey clear substance out of his bag and spread it all over the floor. He smeared more gooey stuff on certain places on the walls and on the furniture in the room. When he was done, Jarik ran to a secret door behind the poster with a cool ship on it.   
  
He reappeared with three minutes left and as he ran round the gooey mess he dropped a crumbled piece of paper by the door. He smiled at the paper as it sunk into the goo and said to himself, "Mr. Jaster, I didn't know you had it in you. Congratulations ." He turned and ran to where they we supposed to meet. He hoped this house didn't have video cameras... He skittered to a halt. Cameras, Blast! He changed his direction and went into a mad dash.   
  
********  
  
Sandri whistled a different tune as she slipped into the dormitories. "Bloody Valentine" by Good Charlotte was the song going through her head. "Wow..." She whispered. The room was filled with shelves and boxes filled with trophies. Sandri cackled softly. OoooOoOo... fun....   
  
Ten minutes of trading plates on trophies, knocking boxes all over the floor, and taking pictures of herself and putting her face in different pictures led her to a shrine like structure in the back of the room. Her eyes grew to the size of platters as she saw what was on top of it. Armor... pretty armor...  
  
********  
  
Marian entered the unlabeled room without much trouble. The electric floor panels had been easy to deactivate, she had plenty of warning on the flamethrowers, and the falling spikes had been child's play. With each obstacle she became more and more certain that nothing lay behind the door at the end of the hallway. So she took a left and found a closet labeled "Supplies". Marian picked the lock and slid into the room full of lots and lots of file boxes.  
  
After shuffling through a few she found nothing of importance. She was sure that any room in this house with nothing important in it was surely hiding something. So she looked behind under and around boxes until at last she leaned up against a bookshelf with a sigh. Marian closed her eyes and wondered if there was something she had missed.   
  
"What a comfortable book case..." she thought "... I wonder when the started making comfortable bookcases..." Marian opened her eyes, grabbed the top of the bookcase and threw it to the floor. Behind it was a blank wall. She sighed and pulled a fake wall down on top of the fallen case. This was getting dull and predictable couldn't she get to the hidden thingy already?  
  
Marian entered the hidden room and sighed. It was filled with pounds and pounds of macaroni. After a few minutes of wading threw chest deep noodles reached the other wall. There Marian promptly sat, sinking quickly to the bottom. She felt her way along the wall until she found a opening. After crawling some more she reached the next room.   
  
Marian stood and imminently gagged at the stench of ... what ever it was. She held her breath and ran by many yellow colored plants that littered the floor. After finding no way out she sighed, an action she quickly regretted, and kicked over each plant releasing a blast of stinky stench each time. When she found a plant that wasn't as stinky as the others she flicked the hidden switch under it.  
  
(A/N: *sigh* I could have this go on forever and ever, but for the lively hood of the story, I'll stop now.)  
  
After going through the next few rooms as she had the previous (You see, It all seemed strangely like a game she had gotten for her birthday and was playing it as so.) she finally reached the last door. (YES!!!) Of course, it had other doors leading to other rooms in a endless maze, but Marian couldn't be fooled. (See, hours of computer games are good for you!)   
  
She tapped on the floor stone three times and sure enough a box popped from out of a near by wall. She open it and found a treasure slightly different than the evil, possessed, demonic, cult ring she had found on the game. (Why they wanted a cult ring... who knows?) It was a small silver key on a light chain.   
  
Marian picked it up doubtfully but then shrugged and clipped it around her neck. Maybe it would burn...  
  
********   
  
Cleo and Riddle fished up redecorating the house just as Jarik, Sandri, and Marian came out. "Hola!" Cleo shouted, waving a roll of neon orange toilet paper. Riddle blinked at the three each shouldering a garbage bag. "What did you get?" Cleo asked eagerly.   
  
"Macaroni." Marian said with a smile. "Lots and lots of macaroni." "Let's see." Jarik said, rummaging through his bag. "A broken video tape, my backpack, and...." He gave them a innocent look. "They really should lock the fridge at night." Riddle sighed and Cleo turned to Sandri. "Um...." Sandri said, shifting her bag uncomfortably. "Lots and lots of shiny trophies!"   
  
The group immediately turn their attention elsewhere, they didn't want to be involved in Sandri's... obsessions. 'That was close', Sandri thought. "So are you guys done here?" Marian asked. The two girls looked at each other and then stepped back to reveal a yard and house toilet papered from top to bottom with neon orange toilet paper. "Not bad.." Jarik murmured. "But I do suggest we get out of here... now!"   
  
He started running for the back gate while the others stared after him for a moment. Then, at the same time, they saw the red convertible coming down the street. "Drat!" Cleo swore, grapping the box of left over ammo and running after Jarik. In a second the others followed but not before the shouted slightly harder oaths.   
  
Jarik stopped when the reached the side of the house and motioned the others to stop. "What are you doing?" Marian hissed. "We could have made it!" "Yes," Jarik said calmly, "but the car is pulling up to the back door and not the garage." "So?" Marian asked still annoyed. Jarik made sound effects of a car screeching to a halt and then made a rather loud SPLAT sound. "Okay, okay, we get the point," said a exasperated Riddle," but now what?" Cleo silently stood. "I saw a cellar when we were ... uh... working we can hide there."   
  
Cleo led the way and the group soon found their way to a rather nice cellar. It had a couch, a fridge, and even giant mural of Batman. Riddle whipped out the walky-talky and tried to get a hold of Caylor. "Shoot a monkey!" She swore. "They turned it off! And they were supposed to warn us when Mr. Jaster was coming." All but Sandri nodded in agreement. She was busy studying the picture of Batman.   
  
"Hey, I don't think Mr. Jaster has been down here." She said turning to the others. "Since he just moved here and all." "Oookay..." Marian flopped down on the couch. "Your point is?" "Nothing, nothing at all." Sandri mumbled turning back to the picture. Cleo sat down beside Marian and looked at the mural oddly. "Hey everybody! Sit down and look at this."   
  
So all five of them squished onto the couch and stared at the picture. "What are we looking for?" Jarik asked. "Look around the edges." Cleo said, pointing. "It appears that it opens." "Hey!" Marian exclaimed, drawing all attention to herself. "I wonder what this button does." Jarik rolled his eyes. "It probably just puts the couch ba-" PUSH.   
  
A metal bar came from over their heads pinning them all to the couch. "Please, keep all hands and feet inside the couch." A voice said as the Batman mural swung open reveling a track leading down into the darkness. "Thank you and please enjoy the ride!" The couch started moving forward and soon the mural closed behind them leaving them in the dark.   
  
**********  
  
He, he, he.....  
  
Sry, I don't have anything else to say... 


	11. Rollercoasters and Goo

'Ello! *Dodges flying inanimate objects* Sry I haven't updated in sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.....  
  
yep....  
  
Disclaimer: I know no pain and wrath of the courts! Down with the goverment!  
  
yep yep yeppers...here you go a health portion.... try not to choke on it...  
  
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Caylor and her "munchkins" sat on a really expensive leather couch and a Bavarian carpet from England with colossal amounts of ice cream, chocolate, and popcorn watching movies that had not yet come out. How did this odd group get in this odd place at a very odd time? Well, I'm not telling! You'll just have to find out for yourself! Gosh! People these days always so demanding! *Now*! They always want it *now*! They can be patient.. nooooo... that wasn't in the job description, they say, I never signed on for that! Then they go on about- *fan fiction writer is suddenly launched into space and some random person comes and pushes the play button* *the story continues on...*   
  
Caylor and her "munchkins" sat on a really expensive leather couch and a Bavarian carpet from England with colossal amounts of ice cream, chocolate, and popcorn watching movies that had not yet come out. (Haven't we been here already?) "No!" Cor shouted at the screen playing Return of the King. "Not *another* mushy scene! I hate them! Ewwww.. They're kissing! Make it stop! Make it stop!" The others shouted their agreement while making gagging noises and throwing popcorn at the television.   
  
For once Caylor did not bother to sigh and fast forward *again* but instead she just turned it off all together. The boys turned in shock, got over their surprise, and began throwing popcorn at her and telling her to turn it back on. Caylor turned her attention from a weird screaming noise in the wall and gave them her say-one-move-word-and-die-a-long-and-painful-death glare and there was sudden silence through the room. There it was again, closer this time. Apparently the boys heard it too because the noisy shouting didn't start up again. Caylor's ears pricked as she heard a scream that sounded like someone saying "Sttuuuuuuupiiiid baaaaaatmannnn pooooster!!!"   
  
"Batman poster?" One of the boys broke the silence. "You mean like the one over there?" He pointed to a batman mural painted on the wall where the screams we coming from. "You know," Sam, Cor's friend, said tilting his head, "if you look at it in a certain way it looks like it could-"   
  
******  
  
"Sttuuuuuuupiiiid baaaaaatmannnn pooooster!!!" Sandri shrieked as the roller coaster they were on plunged down another hill. They had been on this ride for five minutes and everyone was ready to get off. Except for Jarik, that is, who seemed to love that sort of thing. "I think it's almost-" they went into a loop and Riddle's voice was momentarily cut off, "-over. It seems to be-" the couch tipped side ways, "-slowing down-" There was a sudden flash of light in front of them as a door swung open and they were plunged at high speeds into another room.   
  
They caught a flash of nine blurred (They were going fast after all.) faces as they flew across the room. Most of them screamed as the sped toward the opposite wall. And then suddenly... they crashed- (What did you expect? For them to somehow be saved?) -into the wall that was actually a giant pad pretending to be a wall (Okay fine...they were saved). "Ufff.." Marian said, slamming into the pad. The couch shot back several feet to a spot in front of the now closed batman mural. "Please keep all body parts inside the couch until we come to a complete stop. The safety bar will stay in place until later notice. Thank you, and enjoy your stay!"   
  
*********  
  
Fett sat on the couch of his goo covered main room barely containing a growl escaping from his lips. He was getting old, that was it, unable to function correctly. This room was the least of the damage. His ship was gone, the first thing he checked on and the first thing some one would take. It had to be some one from his universe or other wise they wouldn't have been able to fly the ship. His armor was gone and who ever had it would be.... He coughed, better ponder their fate later... Other than that there was a missing key, it was there before he got there so Fett really didn't care. They would pay...as soon as the private investigator got here...  
  
He scowled again. Dengar stuck his head inside the door. "Uh...." He caught a glimpse of Fett's face. "....never mind...." The door closed behind him and then opened again. "I thought.... never mind...." He disappeared once more. About ten seconds went by before he returned. ".... I'm just gonna leave now.... bye..." Again the door shut. Fett counted to twenty and the door opened again. He turned angrily. "Just leave already!" "Alright," Corran Horn said (*author faints in his awesome glory*), "but since you dragged me all the way out here I expected to be paid in full."   
  
Corran plopped down in a chair and sighed. Before entering the room he had investigated the points sent to him on the data pad. An interesting break in. The thieves stole the three most heavily guarded things in the house... and yet bothered to steal bags of macaroni and empty the fridge. So these robbers were either extremely smart or extremely stupid. That narrowed the suspects a bit.   
  
He turned to Fett again with a cool smile. "Now to get to business, if that's all right with you Mr. Fett." Boba scowled. Horn took it as a yes and continued. "Now we might as well start from the beginning though I already know the end." He took a match from his pocket, lit it, and dropped it in a pile of goo. The goo set a blaze immediately setting off a chain reaction around the room until all the goo was aflame. Letters shone in an odd light flashing and receding. At last it stopped and the goo was pulled from all the places in the room to a central point on the main computer screen.   
  
(A/N: -*stops tape*- Oh, just to let you insane people out there that can not (for some odd reason) read my mind Corran.... well he's kinda serious like... un-Corran like...Well that's cause he's on a job right now.... he'll get better later...*again faints in his awesome glory* *can not start tape because she has fainted* *Jepordy music plays* FINE BE THAT WAY!!! *the Marian from the story stomps on the set and glares and the me Marian (who is writing this after all)* If you're gonna be that way, I'll push the button! *Marian who is writing this becomes very annoyed at other self* *other self pushes button* *does not see giant tub of raw meatball covered in bathroom cleaner about to fall on her head* *play*-)  
  
It gathered together in one bright glow and then went dull. Letters scrolled across the board streaming slowly across. Corran nodded in brief satisfaction and then he read the words out loud. "Jarik waz here. To contact the aweeeeeesome Star Thief, leave a message at..." It then proceeded to list a six hundred digit number that Fett immediately called. "'ello," said the voice on the other side, " I am not here right now, because I am gloating the extremely easy take over of your ship. But don't worry... I'll take care of it." There were several attempts of an evil laugh before the message continued. "Oh and since you were the one who called I'm sending you the bill for this call which is oh, slightly over a billion credits since this number is listed at an obscure corner of the galaxy and is millions of light years away from anything! Thank you and have a satisfactory day."  
  
Fett hung up the phone and looked at the fading words on the screen. "You know, you'd think kids could spell these days." Corran gave him a side ways glance. "Actually we suspect that this Jarik person is only a cover up for a bigger mastermind to hide behind." It was Fett's turn to give him a side ways glance. "Really, is that so? How many ships has this "master mind" stolen?" "Just over two dozen, and his interests varies. From X-Wings to Star Destroyers, we don't know where he'll hit next." Boba put on an amused smile. "And you have no idea who this fella is?" "Not a clue." "Good then I'll congratulate him when I give him detention Monday." Horn had no chance to reply because just then the goo screen went momentarily blank and then blew up shooting goo all over the room.   
  
Boba wiped goo from his face and scowled. He would get his ship back. And he might just get a pretty price for the other ones too...  
  
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That is all... There is no more...  
  
And if you want more....  
  
review or I will not update....  
  
EVER! Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha....  
  
*cough*  
  
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....  
  
yes... good bye...  
  
*jumps off the edge of the world....* 


	12. The begining of the end

I've decided to update.. *clap, clap, clap* ... yes, yes, thank you, thank you... I think this will be part one of the end. Hey! The beginning of the end! Cool! Well, yes... okay I think it is short but I haven't updated in soooo I long so I wouldn't know... **  
  
Part One:  
  
After about twenty minutes, Caylor, Cor, and the other boys finally found the button that released the five victims from the couch's iron grip. It ended up being the exact same button that had started the mess in the first place. As soon as the button was pushed, however, the couch slowly began to roll backwards back into the Batman mural. They threw themselves off and just barely escaped almost certain demise.  
Only a few minutes later the whole group of them gathered on the leather couch and discussed what to do next. Well, the girls did at least.  
Cor took the Star Wars Episode 3 video off a near by shelf. "You know, Jarik," he said turning to his older brother, "I think Lucas needs some help with this one. It doesn't meet up to standards." Jarik gave him a sideways glance. "You know, in some Star Wars communities that comment could get you killed." Cor raised his hands to wave off the deadly glare.  
"I'm just saying we could help it off a bit. You know, prod it in the right direction by deleting all the kissing parts and adding more fight scenes?" He gestured toward a door in the back of the room and whispered. "I heard they have an editing room back there. State of the art my sources say... It even has sound proof walls!" Jarik threw his arm around Cor's shoulders.  
"If you weren't my brother I'd turn you into the counsel for high treason. Editing out the boring parts? Who's ever heard of such an idea! But since you suggested it I can always blame it on you and say I didn't know what you where doing." He glanced at the girls. "Just don't let them find out what we did." Cor smiled. "I won't tell if you won't."  
Jarik took all the boys and informed Marian, Riddle, Cleo, Sandri, and Caylor that they were going to scout out the rest of the building. The girls glared at them for so rudely interrupting their very important conversation and the nine boys left to concur the video manipulation universe.  
Marian watched the boys out of the corner of her eye as they slunk off into the back room. "What do you think they were up to?" Riddle asked. Marian shrugged. "If I know my brothers, they were probably editing an illegal copy of a unreleased movie so they can switch it for the original and get it into theaters." The five girls sighed. "Boys."  
Caylor sighed once more, "If I were going to edit a illegal tape I would know to change the tracking so the government wouldn't be able to trace it as a reproduction but of course they wouldn't know that."  
"Right, "Cleo said to fill the awkward silence," well, uh, Caylor... why didn't you follow orders and warn us when Jaster was coming? We all almost got detention!" Caylor blinked. "What do you mean? Cor said my order were to invade anyone-." The rest of the group moaned. "Evade! Evade! Can that boy get it right?" Sandri shouted. Marian mumbled something that sounded like "so totally dead" and then coughed and smiled.  
"Sooooo.... What else have you been up to Caylor?" Caylor gave an innocent grin. "Nothing. Nothing at all." Sandri rolled her eyes. "Yeh, right, spill."  
And so Caylor "spilled".  
When they followed the tracking device downtown Caylor and the boys had discovered a really tall office building. According to the screen the signal came from under the really tall office building and after several attempts of trying to smuggle them selves in Cleo decided to take action. And so she once again told the boys how to steer her precious skateboards, said a brief prayer, and then flew up to the roof with the boys close behind. After she stopped them hyperventilating, all it took was a quick lock picking job and a elevator trip to reach to the "secret" area under the building.  
Apparently there was a meeting or something going on so Caylor had patiently listened until it was over. She had previously taken the precaution of locking the boys in a random room and telling them to keep watch so when the meeting was dismissed she was the only one that had to jump into the ceiling to avoid capture.  
The meeting itself wasn't of much importance to Caylor. It seemed that an "evil villain" had taken over the "galaxy" and that the "league" was needed immediately to defeat this great foe (The Unnamed One or something). Caylor figured that the club must be a part of some world wide role playing game and decided that they really needed a more original story line.  
After the role-playing group had left, she retrieved the boys. Soon after they found a loaded fridge, illegal movies, and a really big tv. Apparently these role-players had influence.  
Marian saw Jarik silently returned a video tape to its case and then sneak back out of the room. A minute later he came by with the rest of the boys.  
"Well they doesn't seem to be much else here." He declared. "We've searched this place from top to bottom." "Really?" Riddle asked mildly. "Then would you please inform me where the bathroom is?" A blank and helpless look spread over Jarik's face. Suddenly Marian's wrist-watch alarm went off.  
"Shoot!" She exclaimed, leaping up. "We were supposed to be home an hour ago!" Jarik muttered something that sounded like "saved by the annoying alarm". As they returned to the roof of the really tall building.  
"Ooo.." Cleo commented. "Nice view." Caylor nodded and the boys and she took out the skate boards.  
"Uh... just a question, but how are the rest of us supposed to get down?" Caylor looked at her blankly and then sighed. "I suppose I could come back for you but it would take me all night to haul you all down... I do have room for one more though." "ME!" Sandri and Riddle shouted at the same time.  
But Sandri was faster, she grabbed a scooter and was ready to jump off the roof when Marian suddenly hit herself of the head. "I forgot my macaroni downstairs! I'll be right back." Sandri got a glazed over look in her eyes. "Nooooo.... I forgot my precious!!!" She jumped off the skate board and ran back to the elevator quickly followed by Jarik, Marian, and Cleo.  
By the time they returned the rest of the group was gone (including Riddle). Marian moaned and sat down.  
"How are we going to get home? Tomorrow is a school day! I suppose we can go down stairs and turn ourselves in." Sandri sat down next to her holding a lumpy bag to her chest. "My precious, my precious, I almost lost my precious..." She whimpered. Cleo had begun to snack on some of Marian's maccaroni when Jarik stood up with a huge, crazed smile on his face.  
"She's here! I was beginning to worry!" He said raising his arms as if to direct an invisible ship in for a landing. "He's lost it!" Marian whispered to Cleo who nodded, mouth full of maccaroni. Suddenly there was a gentle thud that shook the whole platform.  
The girls jumped up in surprise but Jarik only stepped forward disappearing into a nothingness. The girls stood with mouths agape for a minute before Jarik reappeared, part of Jarik anyway.  
A floating head stuck out of an empty space, frowning. "Hey, aren't you guys come- oh, I forgot." It disappeared again and soon Slave IV (I'm not sure if she existed but for the sake of the story... well, you know... does) appeared in front of them.  
Jarik smiled. "I've found a quick way home." 


End file.
